It's last day of school and I am still freaking out about my grades.
This morning I had kind of a semi-nervous breakdown in front of my teacher because of the really bad I received in his class.
I had finished my French Final earlier than the allotted time needed for my school's Finals (two hours). So, I asked my French teacher for a pass to my other teacher's classroom. Of course she didn't give me one without obvious hesitation. Eventually, though, after some time-consuming interrogating, she let me go.
I entered my other teacher's classroom with what might have seemed like an awkward grin on my face but was really my usual facial expression for all occurrences.
Now let's fast-foward to the part where I had the mental meltdown...
I had one missing assignment and that caused my grade to fall dramatically. My teacher had asked me why I missed the assignment and I gave him a reason. It was a legitimate reason, but I'll tell you, it was one of the worst excuses in the book: I told him that I was tired and that I had fallen asleep without completing any homework that night.
Sounds terrible, right? I felt foolish saying it. I even acknowledged how stupid of an excuse it was after I said it. Yet although it was a lame excuse, I can confidently say that I have people (the right people) to back me up on it. The excessive amounts of homework I had this year were taking a major toll on me. Not only was the homework an issue, but the massive amount of extracurricular work I was doing was affecting me too. All this work I did caused me to deprive myself of sleep and certain people, like my doctor, my family, and friends, started to notice that. So, I gave in and finally decided to take their advice of getting rest no matter what work I have because sleep is more important and yada-yada.
But doing so caused major consequences--like this one.
Although I knew he did what he could about the grade, I was still not satisfied with the result I received. I knew that I wasn't supposed to expect much but for some reason, all my prepping had been thrown out the window when I saw the final grade. I buried my face into my hands and succumbed to the one thing I am close to most afraid of: failure.
When I saw the grade he had given me, I felt like the word had stopped for a second. I instantly buried my face in my hands to mask my shame. My teacher tried to "comfort" me by telling me that the grade I received was better than the one I had had a few seconds before, and that I had next year to make up for my grades. But that didn't help. And after he said that, I shouted at him, screaming that "the colleges won't accept me!"
That was when I started getting a little flustered and panicky. I cried a bit too.
I don't know what came over me at that moment. The night before while I lied in my bed awaiting slumber to envelope me, I thought I had conditioned myself thoroughly for that situation because of all the preparations I had made. I had mentally prepared a script, cried my eyes out, screamed out my frustrations, and blasted songs on my mp3 player! So what was it that I was doing wrong?*
He got my final grade by averaging the grades from previous marking periods, so there kind of wasn't any way I could convince him to make my grade any better.
So, I will now be stuck with a mark on my report card that everuone knows isn't supposed to be there, and that just infuriates me.
So, besides my First-World problems, how has the week been looking so far?
Published: 13 June 2013
Updated: 19 June 2013
I entered my other teacher's classroom with what might have seemed like an awkward grin on my face but was really my usual facial expression for all occurrences.
Now let's fast-foward to the part where I had the mental meltdown...
I had one missing assignment and that caused my grade to fall dramatically. My teacher had asked me why I missed the assignment and I gave him a reason. It was a legitimate reason, but I'll tell you, it was one of the worst excuses in the book: I told him that I was tired and that I had fallen asleep without completing any homework that night.
Sounds terrible, right? I felt foolish saying it. I even acknowledged how stupid of an excuse it was after I said it. Yet although it was a lame excuse, I can confidently say that I have people (the right people) to back me up on it. The excessive amounts of homework I had this year were taking a major toll on me. Not only was the homework an issue, but the massive amount of extracurricular work I was doing was affecting me too. All this work I did caused me to deprive myself of sleep and certain people, like my doctor, my family, and friends, started to notice that. So, I gave in and finally decided to take their advice of getting rest no matter what work I have because sleep is more important and yada-yada.
But doing so caused major consequences--like this one.
Although I knew he did what he could about the grade, I was still not satisfied with the result I received. I knew that I wasn't supposed to expect much but for some reason, all my prepping had been thrown out the window when I saw the final grade. I buried my face into my hands and succumbed to the one thing I am close to most afraid of: failure.
When I saw the grade he had given me, I felt like the word had stopped for a second. I instantly buried my face in my hands to mask my shame. My teacher tried to "comfort" me by telling me that the grade I received was better than the one I had had a few seconds before, and that I had next year to make up for my grades. But that didn't help. And after he said that, I shouted at him, screaming that "the colleges won't accept me!"
That was when I started getting a little flustered and panicky. I cried a bit too.
I don't know what came over me at that moment. The night before while I lied in my bed awaiting slumber to envelope me, I thought I had conditioned myself thoroughly for that situation because of all the preparations I had made. I had mentally prepared a script, cried my eyes out, screamed out my frustrations, and blasted songs on my mp3 player! So what was it that I was doing wrong?*
He got my final grade by averaging the grades from previous marking periods, so there kind of wasn't any way I could convince him to make my grade any better.
So, I will now be stuck with a mark on my report card that everuone knows isn't supposed to be there, and that just infuriates me.
So, besides my First-World problems, how has the week been looking so far?
Published: 13 June 2013
Updated: 19 June 2013
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